Eco-friendly

I was reading on the BBC website the other day about the big fall in oil prices since last June. Apparently it’s been all over the news for the last six months, which makes me wonder if I’ve been living in a cave during that time. As well as this general point, the article also touched on how the effect of falling prices for consumers, and more specifically their energy bills.

Again, this was news to me as I mistakenly thought all our energy came from coal, nuclear and renewables. But no, oil is a big player, and so a slash in prices means a reduction in energy bills.

Or it should, at least. The report pointed out that many people had barely felt the effect of such a monumental slash in prices, unlike in the reverse situation where any increases are immediately picked up by the consumer.

I was ruminating on all of this yesterday and wondering how much of a saving Eton might make from it. It depends mostly on our price plan I guess, but even a saving of one percent would be enough to divert significant funds elsewhere, like refurbishing my room for example.

The truth is that Eton’s annual energy bill must be absolutely ginormous. Not only does it cover every boy's room, but also all the classrooms (over 100), the boarding houses, School Hall, Bekynton, the Farrer Theatre and the two chapels.

Perhaps Eton has only just realised this and has decided to take action. I say this because on two occasions over the past week I have returned to my room to find it mirroring the temperature of an Alpine slope. Someone, clearly, had been in while I was away and turned off my radiator.

Initially, I suspected my boys' maid, her being the only person besides myself to enter my room on a daily basis. But when I questioned her about it this morning she denied it straight out.

Which leaves two other suspects: the Dame and Runty. The Dame because she’s always banging on about the environment and global warming, and Runty because he’s an idiot and would find it funny.

Something inside me tells me it’s neither of them though, and that instead it could be a younger boy on a self-designated green mission, determined to save the planet little by little.

Perhaps I should be glad that this mystery figure is doing my bit for the environment on my behalf, but the truth is that if I had the choice between making the planet one billionth of a degree colder, or not coming back to a room that's freezing after every single chambers, lunch and games then I'd choose the selfish option.

It's a question I guess of exactly how environmentally friendly we should be. You could argue for example that central heating is unnecessary when we could all dress up like eskimos. Or that computers and phones should be thrown away to reduce carbon emissions. But to me that sounds like hell on earth, a prospect not even worth considering.

In my defence though, I am keen on recycling: green glass, brown glass, cardboard, plastic, cans and electrical items.

I draw the line at some things though. I have never recycled clothes for instance, unlike a certain individual in my block.

I observed this first back in E block when we sat next to each other in Chemistry. I looked over at his shirt one day and was surprised to see it going brown around the cuffs.  

‘Have you worn that shirt for a week or something?’ I asked him.

‘No,’ he said, 'of course not!'

It was so dirty though that I couldn't believe him. But how to prove it? Unless I set up a camera in his room and tracked his every move there was no way of knowing if he'd changed it or not.

Then I had an idea. At the next opportunity I would secretly flick some ink onto his shirt and check to see if it was still there the following week. I did this while we were doing an experiment in a div, and left a mark so conspicuous that it couldn't possibly be mistaken for another.

I waited keenly for the outcome of my plan, and felt vindicated when I saw the mark there next div!

‘You've been wearing that shirt for four days now haven’t you?’ I said.

‘No I haven’t!’ he replied anxiously.

 ‘Yes you have - look at your elbow. That ink is what I flicked on you last div!’ 

Lifting up his arm he saw the clearly visible mark and going red muttered, ‘Yeah, well, maybe I have worn this one a bit too long.’

I was ready at this point to shout out to the rest of the class about my brilliant detective work. But then the beak walked in and stop. As I sat there for the next forty minutes I thought about it all and realised that to reveal what I'd found out would be very cruel. It may have been a bit gross of him not to change his shirt for a week, but he didn't do it out of malice, just laziness.

As we were packing up I spoke to him, ‘Hey mate, don't worry about the shirt thing, I won't say anything.'

'Thanks,' he said, 'I appreciate it.'

'Next time just wear a fresh one, yeah?'

Now, I may not be an eco-warrior who turns off his radiator on leaving the room, who unplugs his appliances after using them and who plants trees in his garden. But I think there's something to be said for there being many ways of being a responsible citizen, and that sometimes, just sometimes, I am one!